Just as marathon runners must battle the beast of exhaustion, so too must all football fans battle the beast of the dreadful Super Bowl bye-week. Though not as soul-crushing as the offseason, it is still an insufferable stretch in which every story, yarn, and anecdote that bears the slightest hint of relevance to the big game gets beaten to death worse than a piñata at fat camp (that, my friends, is the very definition of a Rick Reilly joke -- my apologies, I couldn't help myself). Although your eyes and ears are undoubtedly nearing their respective saturation points with the interminable bye-week media coverage (in case you haven't heard, the Colts and Saints are playing this year), I urge you to fight through the pain and peruse my appraisal of Super Bowl XLIV as well. For those of you who simply cannot subject themselves to another ounce of pre-Super Bowl tedium, I'm sure you will find this to be a welcome change of pace. For the rest of you, kindly press on.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Super Bowl Preview - Statistics, Legacies, and Gambling
Just as marathon runners must battle the beast of exhaustion, so too must all football fans battle the beast of the dreadful Super Bowl bye-week. Though not as soul-crushing as the offseason, it is still an insufferable stretch in which every story, yarn, and anecdote that bears the slightest hint of relevance to the big game gets beaten to death worse than a piñata at fat camp (that, my friends, is the very definition of a Rick Reilly joke -- my apologies, I couldn't help myself). Although your eyes and ears are undoubtedly nearing their respective saturation points with the interminable bye-week media coverage (in case you haven't heard, the Colts and Saints are playing this year), I urge you to fight through the pain and peruse my appraisal of Super Bowl XLIV as well. For those of you who simply cannot subject themselves to another ounce of pre-Super Bowl tedium, I'm sure you will find this to be a welcome change of pace. For the rest of you, kindly press on.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Searching for Rhyme and Reason in the NFL Playoffs
(AP Photo/Denis Poroy)
That's right, ladies and gentlemen, the New York Effing Jets are playing in the AFC Championship Game. The Jets! The same team that midway through the season stood at 4-6, a far cry from any realistic playoff contention. The same team that squeaked into the postseason by claiming victories against the second and third stringers of the Colts and Bengals (essentially JV opposition) in the crucial final two weeks of the regular season. Led by the brash bravado of head coach Rex Ryan, the Jets continue to defy the odds and prove the experts wrong. Furthermore, for the second time in as many seasons, we have seen a rookie quarterback "lead" -- I use that term very, very loosely -- his team to two road victories against division champions en route to an AFC Championship game appearance (Joe Flacco last year, Mark Sanchez this year). Things like that just aren't supposed to happen in the NFL. But regardless of the circuitous, unconventional path that New York has taken to (and through) the playoffs, they still stand but one more head-scratching victory from the Super Bowl. Incomprehensible. I guess Don Cheadle wasn't kidding, after all.
Ultimately, there appears to be little to no rhyme or reason to the NFL postseason. Therefore, I have taken it upon myself to instill some "rhyme" (hopefully the reason will follow shortly thereafter).
Friday, January 15, 2010
Looking Ahead to 2010 - Part Two
Loyal readers, welcome back for part two of my 2010 sports prospectus. Take a deep breath, pour yourself a strong cup of coffee, a stiff cocktail, or whatever you need in order to muscle your way through another longwinded appraisal of what in the world of sports deserves your precious attention in the New Year.
Monday, January 11, 2010
R.I.P. Patriots' Mystique

Metaphor Alert! In this video, "Stupid Sexy Flanders" represents the Belichick/Brady playoff cachet which used to be the M.O. of this team (along with defense -- remember when this team played defense?). During the Patriots' heyday over the past decade, we could always count on that dynamic duo to rescue the team from any situation, no matter how dire the straights may have been. Poor, unfortunate Homer represents a Pats fan hoping desperately that the Belichick/Brady mystique of the glory days would rescue New England from Sunday's debacle. But alas, his prayers go hopelessly unanswered. I'll let you untangle the remainder of this intricate web of metaphors and symbolism on your own.
As always, stay tuned and stay classy.
As always, stay tuned and stay classy.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Looking Ahead to 2010 - Part One
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